ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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