a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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