NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
