He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
