was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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