I want to make a zoo with you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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