You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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