I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
