come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
