its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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