Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
