Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
