I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need a beard to bite.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
