remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize