he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
