we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
