yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Come share oat with me in your robe
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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