We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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