My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
