I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
