dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
