he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We need to get me chipped asap
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
