We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Green mimosas i think yes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
