btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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