porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it's like iHOP with fire
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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