'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
