Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
