Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize