2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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