Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
