"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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