I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
