yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
