I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
