She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
