She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
