She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
