Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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