Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize