ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
