If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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