I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
