Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
