I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize