I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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