as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize