just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
