Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think my moral compass just broke
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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