Buhtt sex?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize