The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
