YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
