Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
