I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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