There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
