i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
