i don't like sucking hair
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
