I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
