Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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