Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
