this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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